Hip Hop Needs to “get” 3: “Hard Gay Tour” in Review
Thursday, November 20, 2008 at 1:59AM
It's exactly a week after I returned to Humboldt County where I'm teaching at Humboldt State University after The Hard Gay tour. I returned exhausted, fulfilled, but mostly moved by the feeling that I'd made two new friends-- men I've known through their own celebrity, if only through their music or the OHH gossip mill. In a Hip Hop culture stubbornly denying the existence of gay rappers, we traveled thousands of miles, did shows in four Cali cities (among them a pretty small town: Arcata), captivated the attention of audiences big and small, and we did it...the hard way ...together.
The concept for The Hard Gay tour started via a conversation with Twizza and given my desire to make the most of my temporary stay in California-- a state I long claimed as home, during those integral years with Deep Dickollective. Understanding that there was no label sponsorship, no corporate backers, just determination on a chicken wing and a player, I needed to rethink my plans to tour with Twizza and Last Offence. I believe strongly, however "budget" gay tours can sometimes be, that artists should never lose money trying to promote their art. It's a matter of principal and good business; and at 36, I'm about my business. I figured that focusing on California rappers would enable a more cost effective tour. I am also aware that while there'd been a Pretty Thugs tour and HomoRevolution, there'd been nothing centering, if playfully and ironically, on gay masculinities. After conferring with Twizza, who I know I’ll be touring with at some future point, asking Deadlee and Last Offence to join me was about challenging the perceptions about manhood and masculinity that are used to disenfranchise gay men seeking recognition in Hip Hop. Deadlee, Last Offence, and I are comfortable as masculine men, yet feel no need to put down genderqueer, trans, or effeminate emcees. It's a powerful position to be able to deconstruct, through rap, the social dictates that make little distinction between effeminate faggots and masculine faggots. Our faggotry is the basis of the industry's diss. In fact, masculine gay men face particular challenges because we're often not considered "gay enough" to be gay and more "straight acting" than many of the straight boys. I wanted to explore our masculinity without apology.
I also knew that teaching at Humboldt State University would offer a great launch for the tour if planned it just after the election and just before Vets Day, since I already had a poetry event planned for In The Meantime's Black Gay Men's group in Los Angeles on 11/11. I teach a class at Humboldt State University called "Black Male(d): Deconstructing the African-American Male experience through the poetry of Langston Hughes and TuPac Shakur". The class enabled me to tap into resources at the University to fly Last Offence and Deadlee up to Humboldt County and provide lodging, with a little spare change left over after expenses. We agreed to split proceed at other shows were available and ultimately offered earnings at Tori Fixx's release, and the tour's closing, to the man of honor. Such selflessness is a rare gem in even an increasingly competitive and vicious indie industry. It was great to tour with brothers who had high expectations of the tour, and yet understood the sacrifices necessary to make it happen. Helpful also was the support and enthusiasm of OutHipHop.com.
The opening performance was a part of the Campus Dialogue on Race Program. In addition to performing songs themed around the acronym TUPAC (Truth, Underdog, Pain, Affirmation, and Choices), we decided to flow round robin, betraying the individual grand standing common at most rap shows. Due to my teaching more than 200 students at HSU Fall 2008, we had a ready made and eager audience, if competing with Method Man and Redman in the same town on the same night. This is a feat, namely because you're talking about a major label act in the same small town (think 15,000 residents) against a campus show (albeit FREE) with 3 burgeoning gay rap celebrities. The morning of, Last Offence and Deadlee arrived on the same flight and I quickly grabbed the Times-Standard, the local major newspaper, who devoted a sizeable and extremely positive article about "The Hard Gay Tour" by Maxwell Schnurer. The plane was small and the airport smaller, but both Last and Deadlee arrived like Kings. I picked up the modest Ford Focus that we'd be driving in all weekend and we went to Renata's Creperie for some eats and begin to work to conceptualize the evening's show-- a multi-media show with Slide Show, poetry, and our music that delivered to the satisfaction of more than 200 students and community members. Some students commented on how "different" our styles were, though I received it as a compliment. How often do you see a gansta, an old school conscious rapper, and a new school b-boy hold a show down on the same stage to the applause of such diverse audiences? Almost never in mainstream Hip Hop-- and that made this tour pretty damn special.
It became clear, the day after, that I didn't know my two comrades terribly well; yet they trusted me. With the hopeful wind of President-Elect Barack Obama's election at our backs, yet the insidious hatemongering of Proposition 8 passing, we traveled with a purpose-- chopped it up about life, politics, race, being men of color-- all those "boring political" topics that seem to bore so many in OHH, even if Hip Hop was borne out of the inner city blues of Black and Latino men and women in inner cities. We talked about Deadlee's bi-racial father's roots in North Carolina and about Last's struggle to mediate relationship with family (among these relationships, a disapproving brother who also raps). Both men, more than being rap comrades, through this sharing-- some of it mushy shit "hard men" don't talk about-- became my friends.
We had a six hour drive to Oakland to prepare for the next night's show with mumbles and the Dust (feat. Baraka Noel of D/DC), MC Mid*One, and JenRo. Since their arrival, the guys helped carry equipment, feed meters, and were just two of the more low-maintenance cats I've ever experienced. To be sure, the "Hard Gay Tour" was not just about masculinity but about getting the hands dirty a bit and making do with relatively modest resources. And surprisingly, the Oakland stop was perhaps the "hardest" night for me of all. This city where I taught hundreds of students and had performed for thousands more, would hold the most modest of our audiences the entire tour. Beyond the performers, we performed for a modest crowd of fewer than 20-- perhaps because everyone was protesting Prop 8 the same night in S.F., perhaps because Queer Hip Hop in the Bay isn't such a novelty anymore. LGBT artists are doing shows regularly there and my sense is that the queer artists there have more success aligning themselves with Hip Hop acts doing the same kind of material (regardless of sexual orientation) than doing a queer show with everything from Conscious Hip Hop to Hyphy.
Still, it was a bit like the old days: the eclectic/acoustic freestyle and poetry of a mumbles and the Dust, JenRo's BayCali fabulous flow, along with Mid*One's soulful Hip Hop storytelling. Add "The Hard Gay Tour" and you have a special night of performance-- even if volume levels had to be low given residents living at the AK Press warehouse, a horrible mic, and small if important audience. I was reminded that sometimes it's not how many are at the show, but who is at the show: among those in the modest crowd, two men doing a documentary about LGBT Hip Hop, two college professors who write and teach about queer Hip Hop performance, and several artists and writers who'll likely share their experiences with people we didn't touch directly. Dutchboy was among those present, so it was great to be able to introduce Last Offence to a true pioneer of the movement. After the show and over Lake Merritt Bakery grub, Mid*One and I, both inactive Mormons, talked about Prop 8, answered Last Offence's questions about the religion, even as I felt uncomfortably sandwiched between a white brotha I respect defending the faith I once embraced, and a black brotha I respect who, for good reason, holds no faith in religion at all anymore. These are conversations that may not make good banter for reality TV, but at the crux of our liberation as people "in the life".
The long drive from Oakland to San Diego was exhausting. We dropped Deadlee in Los Angeles so that he could tend to some home business and meet us later in SD. Last Offence and I continued the drive to SD, me opting to stay with my (straight but not narrow) friends Tiffany and David. We made our way to the show just after hours after our arrival and a "virtual" nap-- made impossible by the need to catch up on work and emails. The SD show was very special, with Lea from The Rubber Rose helping secure the Kava Lounge Gallery and (the sexy) Anna Joy Springer as hostess, we enjoyed a lively show including performances by Solomon and a young man named Anthony's Hip Hop dance performance of Saul Williams' Black Stacey. The dance performance had an electrifying energy I will not soon forget. Solomon has a very unique style of performance and I really appreciate his swagger. Seeing him perform definitely increased my respect for what he has to offer the game. There were about 30 people were in attendance at this gathering (a good crowd in such a small space, since most chairs were filled). Because it was an all-ages show and young kids were in attendance, it was interesting seeing Deadlee transform from this sexually explicit gangsta to someone deeply concerned modifying lyrics for kids. I was clear that I didn't expect it, and the kids were my friends Tiffany and David's and have a mature relationship where they discuss EVERYTHING. Still, I respected Deadlee's discretion as much as I respected Last Offence not making major adjustments to his playlist. It demonstrated a maturity and flexibility that will carry both men far in the industry. Last Offence returned with Deadlee to Los Angeles and I stayed behind to soak up some rest, and see other friends of mine (Kolo & Alice and family) on Sunday before heading to LA for the closing show. I kinda wanted to hang out for a bit in SD and explore the scene, but realize that, at 36, I'm pretty much over it...and don't get out to a lot of bars or clubs anymore. I'm partnered, have a 20 year-old daughter, and am Uncle Tim'm to a host of nieces and nephews, many not related to me by blood. I'm proudly old school, even if it marks me by some as outdated. Those who really matter in the industry know and respect the difference, despite the haters. They are watching...and awaiting, still, the power moves I've been plotting for more than a decade now.
We finished the tour at the Tori Fixx CD release party. There are three people in the OHH scene that I have a healthy and respectful crush on. He is the original crusher. LOL. It was great to celebrate this moment with him-- a dynamic eclectic album with powerful collaborations and solo performances that continue the rich tradition that marks Tori Fixx as the OUT artist with as many, if not more, recordings as any of us. The show was at MJ's in Los Angeles, so we felt very much at home ending the tour in the only "gay" bar of the whole tour. It was great seeing Fox Jazzel, Pam Jones, and Salvimex there-- performing with all of Tori's Woofalicious fans as well as those who came to support the closing of our "Hard Gay Tour". I only wished I had more energy after the set but having done all the driving solo for the tour, I was beat after a great set of performances.
A week later I can say that I really miss both Deadlee and Last Offence. I know that some of the conversations we had will not be soon forgotten. And ultimately, "The Hard Gay Tour" turned out to be as easy as the natural chemistry the three of us had developed performing the tour's title song on the final night. I returned to Humboldt State University with loads of papers to grade, but all the more reenergized by a movement that I have often been very critical of. There are tons of rappers and rap industry people who would have loved for Deadlee and I to have some kind of riff, or for Last Offence and I to have fallen out. I recall playing some of the older school DDC work for Last Offence, aware that it's a lot more gritty and raw (production wise) than much of the OHH rap music produced today. Sharing DDC music, and Alex Hinton’s Pick Up the Mic with him was about sharing a history I know he'll now preserve for all the good it offers. And if he becomes, as I believe he is capable of doing, among the representatives of OHH who break the rainbow ceiling, I'm happy to have jumped off my soapbox to shower some wisdom on him, on Deadlee, and those I'll come to share similar experiences with.
Hip Hop Ain't Dead, He just needs to get 3.
Reader Comments (7)
Excellent recap! And perfect timing too. You are a great story teller, this is the story I wanted to know. Very well told.
TIM'M -- THIS WAS JUST LIKE I WAS LIVING THE TOUR ALL OVER AGAIN-- YOU REALLY CAPTURED THE MOMENTS- I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT I BEEN MISSING MY TOUR BROTHERS TOO - I GAINED EVEN MORE RESPECT FOR YOU AND LAST - I AM STILL IN AWE OVER BOTH OF YOU - THE REALIST, SMARTEST, SEXIEST BROTHERS !! I HOPE WE CAN TAKE THIS TO MORE CITIES! MUCH LOVE-- YES HOMO! YES DEADLEE! YES TIM'M! YES LAST! OH YA - I BEEN CRAVING CREPES! REAL MEN EAT CREPES!!
Im glad ya'll safely made it to your destinations and safely home.
Bigg ups
Nugget
Great Story Tim'm...Long As Hell But Great For The Most Part...Mucho Luvo
TwiZz@
not sure how a "hard" tour can be a short blog, TwiZz, but thanks...as I'm thankful for the other comments as well. It's not just about a sketch of moments... It's about embedding relationships in history for long beyond our time.
one.
Waddup Dear Mentor,
Just stoppin by to show some luv and wanted to give you congrats on the success of the tour.
-Jessy
I just read this post and I'm bummed I didn't even know this tour came to Oakland last winter. There would have been more than 20 in attendance! I'm gonna look ahead to Hard Gay Tour 2 in the (hopefully near) future.