Please, allow me to be blunt.  I don't consider you a real performer until you've gotten up on stage at least a couple hundred times.  Until you've been up there enough that you've completely lost count, then you really have no idea what you're doing.

You may have an awesome flow with great lyricism.  You could have a kick-ass body and smooth, sexy hair.  But can you really, genuinely move the crowd?  Can you connect with everyone's inner psyche, more than just spitting your lyrics into a mic but reaching out and holding every single person's hand at once?

When you're new to the performance game, it's easy to fall apart.  To become a case of nerves.  What will the people think of me?  Can I do this?  Am I going to throw up?  What if I trip on a cord?  You'll do stupid stuff like have terrible mic presence and not be able to connect with the audience.  You'll stare at the floor.  You'll pace around aimlessly.  Your hands will float around in front of you for absolutely no reason.

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Now I realize that hip hop is all about having a healthy ego. You'll never be the best unless you think that you're the best. However, there are a variety of ways to go about letting the world know about your massive set of skills. In listening to various recent gay hip hop mixtapes, I've discovered a disturbing new trend: The Talk.

Yes, The Talk. It's not enough that people will spit verse after verse telling you how awesome they are. Then, they will also include large portions where the beat grows dim and they begin a monologue about their greatness. To me, it's a big turn-off.

I pop cassettes into my walkman (or whatever the kids do these days to listen to music) because I want to be happy. I've had a stressful day, and I just want to kick back and listen to some nice hip hop music. Some rapping set to hot beats.  I generally prefer MCs with multiple syllable rhymes and creative metaphors, but I'll certainly take pop rappers if they can make their verses dance properly.

If I wanted to hear someone talk, I'd go out to a theater show. Now, I love some good drama. But it can be tough to relax when I'm trying to keep track of all the characters and lines, set changes and so forth.

Similarly, it's hard to turn my mind off and enjoy a music album when there's no music. I don't always want to keep track of the words you're saying.. I often just want to hear the rhythm of your voice. Just keep things nice and soothing, and I'll be happy.

It's the same when I tune into classical radio.. I don't need to hear long stretches of explanation about the song we just heard; I simply want to hear the orchestra play. In fact, I think that's why classical music station announcers often speak slowly and drowsily; They don't want to disturb the calm sensation created by the music.

When I go to a live hip hop show, there's nothing worse than when the MC spends 10 to 20 minutes hyping up the crowd, making us throw our hands in the air and say "Whoa!" and telling us what hip hop is really about, without breaking into actual song. If I wanted a lecture, I would sign up to take classes, not pay for cover and drink tickets. If you are going to talk, wait until you've done a few songs and earned a break, but even so, please keep it snappy, and make it count.

There are numerous paths you can use to impress people with your hot flow. My favorite method is when artists spit with a hot flow. My least favorite way is when you tell people that you have a hot flow. If you want me to listen to your songs more than once, then make them good songs, complete with verses and choruses. If you only want to do a little rapping and mostly just soliloquize, then odds are high that I'll check out your mixtape once and then throw it in the trash.

As artists, we pride ourselves on our ability to speak the truth as we see it. We would never hold back to keep from offending others. But should we? Are we exposing too much? Are there young, impressionable minds who should cause us to cease our incessant madness?

No.

I'm not saying that all of our music should be necessarily be played directly to children. However, I don't feel that we should stop what we're doing just because children might at some point end up hearing it. Children hear a lot of things, and you know what? More often then not, they end up okay.

I just get frustrated with the whole decency argument when framed around children, because I think that paints a confusing picture. It's not up to gay hip hop artists to stop making graphic music. It's up to the parents to decide what their young kids should be listening to and when.

Most children learn about the real world at a very young age. I was a late-bloomer for swearing myself. I didn't say my first curse word until I was in third grade during recess. After school that day, I told my parents as soon as I got home and burst into tears. Most of my friends had probably been swearing since they started grade school.

When I hit fourth and fifth grades, kids were already starting to tease me for being Jewish, and some would call me a lesbian, even though none of us knew what that actually meant (and it clearly didn't apply since I'm not a woman, and I'm not into women either). So children grow up quite quickly, and it doesn't take long for them to learn to hate.

Kids also buy plenty of mainstream music that has explicit lyrics, as well as watching violence on TV, movies and videogames. They're exposed to quite a bit of intense material, so I don't see why it's okay for them to take in everything except for gay music and culture. If anything, children should be learning to love homosexuality and that it's okay, instead of learning that it's something disgusting that should be shunned.

I can understand people not wanting graphic music broadcast on radio stations or tv stations, where there are already restrictions for general content. However, I have seen people leave messages on artist websites and networks such as myspace and youtube, criticizing the music for being harmful for kids. No one is forcing your kids to wander over to these websites. If you're going to allow your children to roam the internet, then you should regulate what they can see. The world is a scary place, and I feel that we are the least of your problems.

In conclusion, please look after your own kids. They are eventually going to learn many things, so you should be the one to teach life fundamentals to them, before their peers teach them the wrong lessons. If they're going to take in everything else society throws at them, I think they'll be ready for some gay hip hop music soon enough.