Where da Bloggers Been Hidin’?

It’s been a long minute since any of the “Out” bloggers have made their presence felt and known, so I thought I would write a blog just to let you know what’s going on with Khalil Amani and that I’m still “Ya gay friend’s favorite straight friend”—gay hip-hop’s self-proclaimed “straight” spiritual advisor—reppin’ for my gay & lesbian comrades.

I’m still writing at www.hoodgrownonline.com where they are developing the first iPad magazine for hip-hop. The following is a video featuring an article I wrote about Rick Ross. Hoodgrownonline.com has a few heavy-hitter industry folk/rappers that are jumping on the bandwagon, most notably Lord Jamar of Brand Nubians and NYOil (Google them!) Khalil Amani will be in the mix with them, writing about all things hip-hop and of course, repping for gays in hip-hop.

I’m also still writing for DJ Kayslay’s Straight Stuntin Magazine. I just finished my sixth (6) article called “The Hood Has Lied to Us,” which Kayslay personally asked me to write about. Don’t let my haters detractors get me twisted; I’m making big moves in the industry that will reap benefits for this Gay Hip-hop scene in the future. All of your favorite rappers know Khalil Amani! Believe dat! 50 Cent’s underling 40 Glocc and I have become Twitter friends, despite his supposed hatred of gays. I did a blog called “Blogger Looking to Shoot a Rapper,” which appeared in Straight Stuntin Magazine, in which I referenced 40 Glocc. Kayslay told me that he read it when he was in New York, prompting 40 to ask me on Twitter, “Do you still wanna shoot me?” (lol!) We’ve become cool and there is a noticeable hush-hush with the homophobic talk. I’m getting emails daily from the prison population that read Straight Stuntin Magazine and in EVERY ISSUE, at the end; I let it be known for whom I represent—gay hip-hop heads! And you know what? Not one inmate has a problem with the “gay thing!” (Maybe there’s something about prison, which makes a prisoner speak a sober mind? Ya think?)

I'm also blogging at www.Gayhiphop.com,www.gaymusicrevolution.com and www.hiphopwired.com, among other places. I've been recently blogging about Tranny dancer Sidney Starr and Bishop Eddie Long. I'm on Facebook, Myspace and Twitter at "khalilamani."

I’m moving back home, to Miami, Florida on November 18, 2010, so I’m excited about that. Looking forward to really stretching out. If you thought I was a “hot mess” in Denver, wait until they get a load of me in Miami! (Lol!) I will be in charge of the distribution of Straight Stuntin South, so I’m sure I’ll be meeting some of your favorite rappers. I’m also looking to get South Beach crackin’ with a gay hip-hop scene. Unlike some, I have family in this hip-hop game, particularly my favorite nephew, who just did a remix of his song “I Would Do That” ft. Rick Ross. He formerly rapped with Trick Daddy and SNS Express. Gonna get some shit started!

Lunch With Lola By Khalil Amani

Lunch With Lola By Khalil Amani

As you might know, I was in Miami this past weekend, planning my fiftieth birthday party/family reunion, which is in April, so I had to meet Miami native Lola Mazarati, the Transgender rapper who came on the scene a few months back rapping and singing her song “Pretty Money.”

I had to meet her to see if she was the real deal or a flash-in-the-pan. After procuring some transportation, I made my way to her North Miami Beach home and picked her up and went to Red Lobster for a Saturday lunch and interview.

I must say—this was the first time in my 49 years on the planet having lunch with a Transgendered woman—at a Red Lobster. Lol! I was nervous as I believed she was too (but for different reasons).

But, we had a very nice lunch—so nice that I nixed the idea of writing in my notepad, after telling her “the dullest pencil is sharper than the sharpest mind.” Somehow I didn’t feel the need to write anything down and quote her verbatim.

So these are my reflections and impressions on meeting Lola Mazarati.

Lola is taller than I thought—5’8”—with heels 6’0”. A dark-skinned woman with beautiful African features. Thicka than a Snicka. Body like whoa! Dressed to impress. Smells like “Pretty Money.”

(Transgender rapper Lola Mazarati)

Lola and I had a very deep and stimulating conversation, enlightening me on growing up gay/Trans and revealing her struggles as a woman trying to find her voice in this hip-hop shit. We talked about her supposed “beef” with Transgender rapper Foxxjazell, which, apparently, her words have been misconstrued and misinterpreted, which I’m glad to hear because Foxx is my girl too. I don’t want to see two hot Trans rappers feuding over nothing.

We talked a lot about sex! Dare I say that we flirted?

Lola Mazarati is a tigress, waiting to pounce on a track and rip it to shreds. The problem is finding a studio and producers who are open to working with a Trans artist and letting the music speak for itself. Like many other Out/gay artists, I try to instill patience in Ms Mazarati. We have a long way to go and a long road to travel, but given the tools, Lola is a hellava artist—I mean, just listen to “Pretty Money” and understand that this young lady is a triple threat—rapper, singer, entertainer. Lola has the skills to pay the bills.

Thus far, all of my interaction with gay rappers has basically been in gay circles, so it was quite different sitting in Red Lobster with a Trans woman—a very attractive Trans woman at that! It was eye-opening and an exercise in homophobia for me. As a straight man who claims to “walk the walk and talk the talk,” meeting Lola Mazarati was a test of my convictions as an advocate for gay people—gay hip-hop heads in particular—to be seen in public with a Transgender woman on a “date.” Clearly, we were being “watched” by other patrons in the restaurant and admittedly, I felt some discomfort (what will these people think about me?), but Lola, being the strong and intelligent person that she is, put my uneasiness to rest. Lola taught me more about homophobia and gay people than all the books that I could ever read on the subject. I now have an inkling of what gay people and Transgender people, in particular, face in a hetero-world filled with homophobia.

I can only imagine this is what some good white folks used to deal with years ago when having a black friend in secret, but were hard-pressed to be seen in public with them for fear of “what will my white friends think?”

I have often wondered why I take up the cause of gay rights—like really, why? Well, while I was in Miami my daughter answered the question when she read my horoscope (Taurus) in this book that was crazy on point and put to rest why I am like I am. I was born to do this!

Going to Miami—meeting Lola Mazarati—finding my Raison d'être (Reason for Being) through horoscope was one of the most important weekends of my life. Thank you Lola and thank you Keturah, my daughter!

As we exited the restaurant, Lola leading the way and me in tow, I heard some woman say, “That’s a man.” Like damn! Could you at least wait until I/we were out of earshot range to make your comment? I was upset by her comment. And Lola? She dismissed it as ignorance and that woman’s personal problem. She made me understand that if you’re comfortable in your own skin—who the fuck is anybody else’s opinion/observation about you?

“Out of the mouth of babes comes wisdom!”—God & Khalil

Lola is my friend—my homegirl. I am honored that I had the opportunity to receive this life-lesson from a young person. I’ve been on many lunch dates, but this is one that I will never forget! If only every straight person could have the experience I had. I can’t wait to see her again and go out to a (straight) club and kick it. Thank you Lola Mazarati for teaching an old dawg a new trick—letting my actions follow my words. Bless.

Prince Cat-Eyez! King of the Diss Record! By Khalil Amani

Prince Cat-Eyez! King of the Diss Record! By Khalil Amani

(Gay rapper Prince Cat-Eyez, the Inland Empire Assassin)

Before you say it—yes, I represent Prince Cat-Eyez. I’ve loved his Movement for a long time. My dude has been on his grind for a long minute now, taking on all comers when it comes to putting out diss records. Going back to his diss record (One Hit Blunder) at mainstream artist Khia (My neck, my back ho)—to homophobic Eminem affiliate Trick Trick right on down to gay rapper Twizza (No Threat 2 Me) and trans rapper Pam Jones—Prince Cat-Eyez has been shitting on your favorite rapper with venomous wordplay.

His newest diss record, “Attitude On Fuck It,” is a rebuttal to pretty-boy gay rapper Bry’NT’s diss record (“Fucked Raw”) about gay rapper J.r. and Prince Cat-Eyez—a sort of two-for-one-diss-special that falls way short on really “gettin’ it in.” Don’t get it twisted! I like Bry’Nt! Always have. He’s a relevant dude on the scene, but the “No replies in 2010” is a hard pill to swallow when someone like Prince Cat-Eyez verbally assaults you. A nigga gotta swing back when the femme fatale Kimbo Slice (PCE) starts ghetto brawlin’! Cat-Eyez goes hard-body on Bry’Nt with lines like “Open my mouth and they respect my diction/You open your mouth and they wanna stick they dicks in” or “Sayin' you and Pam is like PB&J is ridiculous/You two on wax is more like gonorrhea and syphilis!” In the words of Black Rob—“Like whoa!”

J.r., The King of Gay Music is on the gaydar of Bry’Nt as well. But again, Bry’Nt is weak when he raps, “Get in the booth and get the fuck off YouTube!” You’ve gotta admit—J.r. is the gay hip-hop version of 50 Cent and his alter ego Curly—he makes you laugh and I suspect even Bry’Nt gets a kick out of those videos. (*See videos “J.r. Meets Bry’Nt” “Bry’Nt Exposed” and the hilariously funny “J.r. Owns Bry’Nt Bow Down Bitch” with those skunks running folk out of the restaurant… fun-ny!)

(Gay rapper J.r., the King of Gay Music)

To add insult unto injury, J. r., a gay rapper not known for lyrical prowess gets it in with his diss record to Bry’Nt called “Skunky”—mocking the dyed patch of hair in a picture of Bry’Nt, reminiscent of some old school rapper of the Kwame ilk.

(Gay rapper Bry'Nt, New York's Hot boy)

Bry’Nt raps “Get in the booth and get the fuck off YouTube!” Curiously, I went over to YouTube and counted the videos that both J.r. and Bry’Nt have and wouldn’t you know it that Bry’Nt has more videos than J.r.!—some thirty (30) videos to J.r.’s twenty-something? Hmmm? The lameness continues with Bry’Nt calling J.r. “Gay R.” Like, aren’t both of you cats gay? To make things “worser”—Bry’Nt “dry-snitches” by repeating what DJ Baker supposedly said about J.r.—I imagine in confidence.

But as lyrics of a dissing nature go, Prince Cat-Eyez is the most succinct rhyme-spitter.

To make it plain—Prince Cat-Eyez is in his element making diss records. Bry’Nt is not! Most of the
gay hip-hop aficionados (Mickey Skillz, DJ Baker and myself) say Prince Cat-Eyez won this round.
As a matter of fact, Prince Cat-Eyez is the reigning undefeated/undisputed gay hip-hop diss champion—with a record of 5-0.

PCE vs. Khia—W
PCE vs. Trick Trick—W
PCE vs. Pam Jones—W
PCE vs. Twizza—W (slayed-lak-a-mug!)
PCE vs. Bry’Nt—W

The biggest reason for Prince Cat-Eyez’s successful slaying of his competition is that he does research—research that most of us who follow gay hip-hop can cosign. As for Bry’Nt suggesting that Cat-Eyez has Multiple Sclerosis is erroneous, when, in fact, those of us who know Prince Cat-Eyez knows that he has Scoliosis—a curvature of the spine. And saying that someone’s mate (in this case, Cat-Eyez’s husband) is “almost dead” is hitting below the belt and taking this hip-hop beef diss shit just a little too serious—a desperate attempt to score points. (*Note to anybody that perceives me as their “enemy”—I wish no harm on anyone—and a long a happy/prosperous life.)

At-the-end-of-the-day, exposing your lyrical enemy’s weaknesses is hip-hop—so long as we keep family out of the equation. Then it becomes personal.

Bry’Nt …dawg! I got love for you (even though I’m not so sure it’s reciprocated). Perhaps you should bring Lasto into the fray and even the playing field ‘cause right now Prince Cat-Eyez and J.r., the King of Gay Music are taking a big fat doo-doo on you!

I asked Pat how and why Prince Cat-Eyez comes up with all those great lines and all he/she the actor could do was throw his/her their hands up in sheer amazement!

Pat said, "Truly, Prince Cat-Eyez is the 'King of the Diss Record!'"

Raekwon, The Chef’s Soup de Jour? Homophobia!

Raekwon, The Chef’s Soup de Jour? Homophobia!

I love Wu Tang Clan! I love Raekwon’s music! But I don’t like his ignorance/homophobia! A little while ago, Shade 45’s Angela Yee interviewed Raekwon “The Chef” and that female/lesbian Snoop from HBO’s The Wire. In the course of interviewing Snoop, they got into a discussion about homosexuality/gay people in the industry. This is what Raekwon had to say: “My mouth too small to suck a dick… we don’t play those homo games over here homie… how do muthafuckas convert over to do some shit like that?  …females, you know, they gonna do what they do. I ain’t gonna front. I can’t stand fuckin’ homos!… Get the fuck away from me! Immediately!”

Let me start with Snoop (the lesbian chick’s) ignorance! How are you gonna sit there and allow Raekwon to “bark” (your word) on people who have the same sexual orientation as you? How can you justify lesbianism and cosign the dissing of male homosexuality? You said that a gay person (i.e. male) should be “barked on” if they, according to you, “step out they character”—meaning, try to speak, flirt or push up on someone who isn’t gay—like Raekwon. Do you really believe that a gay man that flirts/makes a pass at a straight man should be “barked” on? (Again, your word) And just what do you mean by “bark?”—to shout at, curse at, threaten, or beat them the fuck up? You ignant lil heifer!  You uneducated bovine! Why would any straight man wanna “bark” (curse/disrespect) a gay man for asking, “How you doin’?” A straight man who is secure in his sexuality will simply tell a gay man, “Yo! I’m straight playa” and keep it moving. No need to be insulting, disrespectful or physical—unless you’re hiding something (wrestling with your own sexuality/DL-ness) or trying to protect your pseudo manhood, which you feel is wrapped around your teeny weenie.

It is people like you, Snoop, that cause the “Matthew Shepards” of the world to be murdered! We’ve all flirted to unwanted ears and had to deal with rejection! Sometimes the person you are attracted to is not attracted to you! Most heterosexual men and women don’t curse out people because of unwanted advances. They tell the person “I got a man” or “I’m cool” or just smile back and keep it moving! But if a homosexual man makes advances toward a straight man (usually because they don’t know that person’s sexual orientation), they’ve gotta get cursed out—or even worst, beat up—or even “worser,” murdered? The fuck? A homosexual woman condoning the dissing of homosexual people by “barking” on them if they “step out they character?” Snoop! You’re one crazy Negro bitch! You are a historically illiterate black woman who is devoid of any knowledge of the struggles of black people, black women, and gay people!

A dog will bark at its prey first and then attack! A homophobe will curse at a gay person and then attack!

Should straight chicks “bark” on you when you’re at the club tryna get some straight poonanny? I mean, you did say you hang in the straight clubs, so it is an assumption that you like straight girls who you hope to “convert” (Raekwon’s word) to lesbianism. I’ve heard about a lot of you butch chicks! You love to turn straight chicks out!

And what do you mean, “Ain’t no homo shit over here?” Newsflash! You are a homosexual woman Snoop! You saying, “Ain’t no homo shit over here” is like a self-hating black person wanting to argue that Obama is not “all black!” (In America, he’s a black man! If you don’t believe it, let Obama break into a white person’s house and watch how they describe him! Do you think they will say, “I think he was a Bi-racial man?” Hell-to-the-naw! Lol!) Do you think that America looks at you as something other than a homosexual woman—just because hip-hop heads and men, in general, don’t mind seeing two women bumpin’ uglies? (Having sex) Why would you exclude yourself from your male homosexual brethren—like those are “homos” and I just like women? The fuck?

Angela Yee asked Snoop if she knew any gay rappers. Instead of mentioning the many outwardly gay/lesbian rappers like Deadlee, Bone Intell, BryN’t, Lola Mazarati, Prince Cat Eyez, Foxxjazell, Medino Green, Drew Mason, JB Rap, Mack Mistress, AquariZ, Anye Elite, Benni E, Soce, King Jabbar, Kin4Life, Shunda K, Captain Magik, et., etc., etc.—instead of mentioning (plugging) the whole Out/Gay hip-hop Movement—Homo-hop—she chose to hone in on so-called in-the-closet-down-low famous rappers, who may or may not be gay. (It’s time-out for speculating about who’s the gay rapper! If Terrence Dean didn’t have the balls to bring them out of the closet, fuck it! His book was one big FAIL! Shout-out to Karrine Steffans!)

Did you know that there are openly gay rappers who ain’t afraid to say they’re gay?

Snoop had a chance to uplift gay hip-hop heads (being gay herself), but instead, got down on her knees and groveled in the already-charted waters of homophobia. She sold out to hip-hop’s uber-hatred of gay people—a Benedict Arnold to her own gay comrades! Good looking out Snoop!

A week before DJ Kayslay had me (Gay hip-hop’s straight advocate/ally) and five gay rappers on his radio show, this chick Snoop was on his show, where my name and the Out/Gay Rap Movement were mentioned. This is what Kayslay personally told me! Snoop is very aware of other gay rappers, but, instead of big-upping the Movement and letting mainstream America know that there are gays actively doing hip-hop and entertaining mainstream crossover, she fell prey to the buffoonery and coonery and fuckery of Raekwon, The Chef, who served us up his favorite dish—a special soup de jour of homophobia! Oh how delicious! Not!  

I think Raekwon had you shook my sista!

Raekwon! As intelligent and lyrical as you rap, why would you stoop to such ignorance? You’ve been all over the world! Hasn’t your worldview expanded yet? Why must you indulge in the homophobic ignorance of society, the church, the ‘hood and folk who just don’t know any better? What is your excuse for being a shit-stain on the Petri-dish of human evolution?  Why must you wallow in the cesspool of the last bastion of human ignorance—homophobia? Let a brotha know!

You said, “My mouth too small to suck a dick.” I say, “There are a lot of small-dicked men in the world!” How do you know your mouth is too small to suck a dick? Is this supposed to tell us that you’re straight? You’ve implied, by extrapolation, that you’ve tried to suck a dick and it didn’t fit. Is this what you’re subtly telling us while you’re trying to be flippant, funny and hetero? And really, I’ve seen your mouth! Indeed, you could handle a sizable phallus! Just say, “Ahhhh!” And by the way, didn't you star in a movie called "Black and White" where you played a character named "Cigar"—the same "cigar," which Sigmund Freud referred to as a penis? Ah-ha! So you have sucked dick! Hmmmm?

Raekwon asked the question about male homosexuality, labeling it a “conversion,” as if boys are born heterosexual and mysteriously “convert” to homosexuality, and quite a few of us believe that gay people “choose” their sexuality—as though every straight person, one day, sat down and consciously pondered the question of sexual identity and “chose” to be straight! Such B/S!—Raekwon has no problem with lesbianism, citing “females, you know, they gonna do what they do.” He can say this because, he too, like most men, enjoys women making out with women. I don’t ever recall a straight cat saying that two women getting freak-nasty were disgusting! Have you?

Raekwon acts as though the male and female brain function totally different. He can understand chicks wanting to lick-it-like-they-like-it, but he questions two men wanting to love one another. Why the double-standard? I’ll tell you why! Because—to most heterosexual men, we find pleasure in seeing two women making love! We are turned on by lesbianism! Our greatest fantasy is the elusive ménage-a-trois (I can proudly say I’ve been there, done that—many times! Ha-ha!) There is nary a porno video or smut magazine that doesn’t have a scene or layout of two women getting busy! (So I’ve heard!) We, straight men, are biased to lesbianism, yet hold a disdain for gay man love. Why of course! We hate it because we are not turned on by it. And some of us (the straight cats that protest the most) are turned on by man-love, so they make the most outlandish comments like, “My mouth too small to suck a dick. I ain’t gonna front. I can’t stand fuckin’ homos!” (Raekwon’s commentary on homosexuality) Was that really necessary Raekwon? Why do you feel the need to let the hip-hop world know about your distaste for homosexual love? I think you protest just a little too much! There ain’t a mouth made that’s too small to suck a dick Negro! I don’t care if you’re packing meat like Byron Long, Mandingo, Lex Steele, Wesley Pipes or Mr. Marcus! (I heard these were the leading super-elongated-penis black porn stars. Y’all let me know what it do!)—a sista will find a way to get her lips around their manhood, no matter how small their mouth may be! Hell! I’ve had my tallywacker (penis) in the mouths of women of all sizes and shapes and races—slit-lipped white girls, pouty-lipped Asian girls, and full-lipped black women—and guess what? No matter the size of their mouth, they were able to accommodate Big Willy! 

Instead of the gratuitous protesting against homosexuality, perhaps Raekwon should put his energies into getting in shape for that “Square Dance”—that one-on-one fist fight that Joe Budden has been “barking” on you about! You’ve got mad-shit to say about gay folks, but you’re kind of quiet about the impending fisticuffs match with Mr. Pump It Up! If I may use the ignorance of hip-hop, may I say, “That’s gay?” 

Raekwon’s homophobic statement reeks of D/L-ness! Sure, you’re straight! (Wink wink) As Jay-Z once said, “We don’t believe you! You need more people!” Raekwon—real straight men don’t make ignorant statements regarding the size of their mouth in relation to a penis! That’s suspect or dare I say, SUPER GAY!

Raekwon, The Chef—the next time you want to feed us your Soup de Jour—homophobia—check the recipe, because real intelligent minds will be tasting (listening)!

Deadlee’s Ol’ Crusty “Spiritual Dick-Rider” Speaks!

Deadlee’s Ol’ Crusty “Spiritual Dick-Rider” Speaks!

Gone are the days of the Peace-Out festivals of yesteryear! The unity shown in Pick Up The Mic is a thing of the past. Beef is the catch de jour. Everybody seems to have the roadmap to mainstream success. Everybody’s got an effin’ opinion about the next man! Folks who’ve never wrote an essay, term paper, thesis, or dissertation all-of-a-sudden think they have the literary chops to blog. So many people are trying to become a part of this Movement—straight cats with gay sympathies (me!)—down-low cats who put out videos and Q&As that have never been seen—“critics” who caricature themselves to avoid confrontation—phantom bloggers whose brainpower originates from their gluteus maximus (ass). The Gay Hip-hop scene has become inundated with a host of unsavory characters. Where did we come from?

All this talking/critiquing/criticism/hating by these inept music bloggers/critics is some entertainment bullshit! Calling themselves “Skillz!” Fuck outta here! You can’t even articulate your thoughts (in blog form) without making a litany of fundamental grammatical errors! Your writing, as of late, has gone from bad to worse! You’ve got commenters correcting your spelling. As for calling me “ole’-ass,” as I’ve written over at Gaymusicrevolution.com, “It's spelled Ol' or Old or Ole...Ole' (The diacritical mark over the “e” is pronounced O-Lay), which is a Spanish word used to cheer and applaud bullfighters, you ol' grammatically ignorant blogger!”  Also, it’s not “lair.” It’s Liar! LI-AR! The next time Qpid gives you head in the club ask him to spell-check that bullshit you call a blog before you submit it to Outhiphop.com! Check your literary “skillz” playa!

I saw this ol’-ass nigga with the white Easter suit on Twitter trying to get the new Trans-rapper (Lola Mazarati) to beef with the other trans-rappers—you stinkin’ agent provocateur! Acting like he knows music.

Most of these cats have no knowledge of music theory, no formal training on any musical instrument, don’t know shit about melody, harmony, chords, scoring, can’t speak the Italian language of music—“Allegro,” “Andante,” “Pianissimo,” “Forte,” “Arpeggio,” “Da Capo,” “Glissando,” “Slur,” “Octave,” “Time Signature,”—can’t read a lick of sheet-music and wouldn’t know a sixteenth-note if it slapped them upside the head! Fuck those elementary 16 Bars! (*For the record, I was a violinist and saxophonist from 7^th grade to my first year of college and was All-City and All-State in orchestra, 1^st Chair, Student Conductor, 4-year letter-man in music and saxophone Section Leader. The concept of “band-geek” in the South is foreign! Band members are stars in their own right at black high schools in Miami and receive just as much props as the star quarterback! See the movie Drumline and get a clue!)

Truly, some of the periphery players (bloggers/critics) of the movement want to be the headliners.

And then there are the gay rappers themselves—many of them—full of hip-hop braggadocio—full of self-righteous indignation—full of shit!

Some of the best MCs will never get out the ‘hood—with their polysyllabic, rapid-fire, metaphor-dropping rhymes—while some of the most silly rapping coons (like Soulja Boy) have found a way to pimp the game and feed their families, all the while, touching millions of people!

Some of you gay rappers think that success (in the mainstream or otherwise) will come about purely on rap skills. Oh contraire! You discount things like personality, charisma, personal appearance/hygiene and likeability—and building coalitions with straight hip-hop heads. Because you may or may not be a better rapper than Deadlee, you count yourself amongst the standard-bearers of this genre, when, in fact, you ain’t done shit to even be mentioned in the same breath as Deadlee! You’ve got the nerve to say that Deadlee’s “claim-to-fame” is being on the Tyra Banks Show, as if your mug has been all over the place—as if appearing on Tyra, Howard Stern, CNN, LA Times, starring in a movie, putting on the first-ever gay rapper hip-hopera, doing a 10-city tour, performing at Prides, putting out two CDs of original material and being featured at Allhiphop.com is some small feat! And your “claim-to-fame?” A couple of appearances on Hot Mess Radio to pontificate about nothing? Playing hype-man at Mondo Homo?

                                                                       

Show us your résumé! Let me listen to your CD! “Season” after “season” that shit is pushed back. “Slay” yourself! You’re mad ‘cause somebody claims to be the “King of Gay Music,” yet you claim to be the “King of the Middle-East”—ain’t put out nary CD of original music! You’re hyped over a mixtape! You’re simply a legend-in-your-own-mind—the Twitter king!   

Deadlee has done hella good for the Gay Hip-hop Movement! Say want you want about his rhyme schemes, but you’ve got to give credit where credit is due and to deny him is to be a hater—and not just his hater, but a hater of gay hip-hop history!

Enough with who’s the best gay rapper! Let’s talk about Pat.

As Deadlee’s old crusty “spiritual dick-rider,”—Ol’ Hai-Karate wearing, mothball smelling Khalil—the humble sycophant (brown-noser), it is my duty to point out the obvious: Most gay rappers aren’t as “accomplished” as Deadlee and certainly not that guy out of Atlanta—you know the one—the Coke-snorting “Gorilla of the South”—Saturday Night Live’s “Pat”—the androgynous girly-man who I wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley for fear of him trying to “slay” my ol’ crusty virginal booty-hole. I can take an ass-whipping, but don’t be standing over me screaming, “Gurllll, I told you it was Slayin’ Season! My titties is perched! I’m on the moooon!” Just knock me the fuck out and put me out of my misery—spare me the girly-man talk! (Talk about an embarrassment to the Movement?—not to mention manhood!) How the fuck do you think mainstream is gonna take you serious talking like a girl and looking like a roughneck? As Ed Lover would say, “C’mon son!” “C’mon Pat!” Talking like a broke-ass Bruno!

I would call his name, but I promised I’d never speak or write his name, because he thinks I need to say his name to keep myself relevant, as though the industry is checkin’ for him! Lol! (They call that having “delusions of grandeur.” I call it “Mental Gymnastics!”) From henceforth, his rap moniker is “Pat.” For those of you who are too young to remember, Google “Saturday Night Live Pat” and have a great laugh.

Yeah, this is the same guy who claims he has the power to revoke my “ghetto pass” in Atlanta (even though he’s really from North Cacka-lacka!), but can’t seem to keep niggas from breaking into his house and stealing his Betamax, his Reel-To-Reel, his cassettes, 8-Track, his black & white floor model TV with the coat-hanger antenna and his Two-Head VCR and those big-ass wooden spoons on the wall—Snitching to the cops about a bunch of outdated stereo equipment! Niggas don’t respect you in your own ‘hood, so come off the tough talk! My family is deep in Atlanta and I’ll walk through your ‘hood on “Any Given Sunday!” Remember a few years ago when that man walked in your mall and shot his girlfriend, her new boyfriend and then drove to the courthouse and blew his own goddamned brains out? That was mi familia—the Rutledges—and there’s a gang of those crazy-ass folks of mine in your city that got my back, so what are you saying Home-biscuit? From Bankhead to Decatur to Lawrenceville—from Strokers to Lucky Lounge—we thick-as-thieves!

I don’t give a fuck whose teeth you knocked out! This old man doesn’t fight. The strongest muscle in my body is my index phalange (trigger finger) and I always carry the ratchet when I’m traveling, so if you’re having some kind of feelings—see-me-when-you-see-me Miss Man—and that goes for anybody who’s got a problem with Khalil Amani—anybody!

And stop invoking your mama’s name when somebody calls you a coke-head! R.I.P. to her—but many of us have dead mamas, including me! If you really want to get personal and angry about your mother’s untimely demise, start with the United States government/CIA who allows cocaine to cross our borders and find its way into the hands of our mothers, daughters, nieces and nephews—not some gay rapper from the Inland Empire who put you on blast for snorting nose-candy! You got sonned! Take it like a girly-man! Get in the studio and come back with your own diss record and stop using your mama to win sympathy. Cat-eyez’s diss was to you, not your mama! Don’t drag the dead into your hot-mess of a life! And stop telling us about your nieces! Get them young kids off your Twitter while you’re doing grown-folk shit!

Damn! Can you believe my old ass is 25 years older than that bigheaded dude on the right?

As much as anybody, I’d like this Movement to be free of dissing and hateration, but I’ve come to the conclusion that poor gay heads are just like poor straight heads—crabs-in-a-barrel niggas looking for a come-up off their fellow gay rapper. Allegiances are made and broken with the blink of an eye. So I choose to ride or die with the cat that brought me in—Deadlee. I see the big picture and know the mathematics. Deadlee is the reason why I have a professional relationship with one of hip-hop’s biggest Dee Jays, Kayslay! Deadlee is the reason why I write for Straight Stuntin Magazine! Deadlee is the reason why five gay rappers had a chance to showcase their talents on Streetsweeper Sirius Radio and by extension—Deadlee is (one of) the reasons why one of those rappers is being courted by indie and mainstream record labels. And if you really do the math, I am the product of the Great Ones—Tim’m, Juba, JB Rap and the whole Deep Dickollective Movement, most of them whom I’ve never met personally. For you simpletons, figure that ish out! Know-the-ledge!

                                                           “No Man is an Island!”